When today really means tomorrow, or maybe the day after that

Things have been super hectic at home and work. And in true “me” fashion, I ordered a new workout program to add to the chaos that is my life right now. But since I can’t stand another second of my too-tight clothes and my carb-binging frenzies, I figured It. Is. Time. And it is too. But apparently Amazon doesn’t think I’m quite ready to start my new better self.

I’ve been tracking my package since I got the “Your package is on its way!” email, and the tracking info revealed it was supposed to get here by 8pm today. TODAY. Apparently, Amazon’s today is not really TODAY. The package did not come today. And I’m pretty sure I’m not going to find it on my doorstep at 11:59pm tonight. (Not that I’m actually going to set my alarm to go check at my front door at 11:59 tonight. That would be ridiculous. Huh hum…).

What’s REALLY ridiculous is that even though it is now WAY past 8pm (TODAY), Amazon is still telling me I will receive my package by 8pm (Today). And there’s this nifty little progress bar that tells me “It’s on the way.” Lies, all lies, Amazon!Β I’m hoping Amazon’s “today” will at least be “tomorrow.” You’d think they’d have the decency to tell me “tomorrow.”

Even though I am totally disappointed in Amazon at the moment, I have to admit this is better than the times when I log in to Amazon to track a package that has been delivered, only to discover the damn thing wasn’t delivered to me. I still wonder what happened to my WEN shampoo. Surely someone out there enjoyed my 32 ounce bottle of pomegranate bliss. You’re welcome!

There was this one time when I ordered a twin-sized mattress race car bed from Walmart and it got lost. How do you lose a giant box? Engagement ring sized package, I get that, but you should’ve seen the size of this thing! After a few weeks of runaround, we FINALLY got Walmart to send another bed. Can you guess what happened next? The look on Gerald’s face when we had the chance to fib to the truck driver that we hadn’t already received one of the bed deliveries was priceless. Um no, we don’t need two giant race car beds in the house, Gerald.

Whoops, I see I’ve slipped into rambling mode. I’m positive there are plenty of “package delivery gone wrong” stories out there. Do share in the comments. I gotta run. Gotta set my alarm for 11:59.


26 thoughts on “When today really means tomorrow, or maybe the day after that”

    1. I didn’t think about “racing” the beds until I started reading your comment. I guessed where you were going. I know, I’m pretty slick like that. Hmm.. maybe THAT’S why Gerald wanted to keep it. Ohhh..

  1. I track those notifications like a hawk as well. And they are generally lies, all lies! I hate it even more when they give you an initial delivery window and miss it by days. Makes me crazy.

    1. Sometimes I wonder why I still have things delivered. Oh yeah, because I hate having to go to store to store to store… And it’s always such a pleasure dealing with our super helpful local post office staff. They are sure to answer their phone and no worries, they will keep an eye out for that lost package. ???

  2. The bed delivery story reminds me of when I was at the end of my pregnancy. We ordered a twin bed online to go in the nursery so I could sleep in that room sometimes and not wake up my husband when I nursed the baby at night (I am practically a saint, I know). Also, we knew that the bed would eventually be our son’s “big boy” bed, which it is. Anyway, the wrong bed rails were sent with the frame so they had to be resent. When the correct rails were delivered, it was delivered about ten houses down on our street. The neighbor, a stranger, called me and let me know he left the package on his front porch. My husband was at work, so I dove drove my pregnant ass down the street and it took me for freakin’ EVER to get those GD bedrails loaded into the car. I was beyond P.O.’d at FedEx and sent them a complaint email. Did that change anything? No, but it made me feel better. Sorry for this long comment but it still pisses me off even now.

    1. I would’ve been pissed too! Maybe I can understand 1 or 2 houses away, maybe across the street, but 10 houses down? Driver when he noticed he got the wrong house but already unloaded everything: Oh well, close enough! WTF??

      And what a great idea y’all had (about getting the twin bed so early)!

  3. I’ve never signed up for Amazon Prime, but I have taken advantage of some of the times when it’s been offered free because I think, hey, cool, I’ve ordered this today so it’ll be here tomorrow or in two days. And then I learn that “Arrives in 2 days” really means “Arrives in 2 days after we 3 weeks to process your order”.

    And since stress burns calories all the effort you’re putting into tracking your new fitness program is probably part of the new fitness program itself.

    1. I’m too cheap to sign up for Prime, much to the rest of my family’s chagrin I’m sure.

      Love that perspective! You know, come to think of it, I do feel a little slimmer today.

    1. Guess I’ve gotten pretty spoiled. I’m pretty sure I’d do much better if second-by-second tracking wasn’t available though. It was the good old days when you’d order something and then it would be a nice surprise when it showed up because you had forgotten you’d ordered whatever it was in the first place. I’ll let Amazon know they should get rid of the tracking feature, pronto! Oh who am I kidding? I still love it.

    1. I’ll be on Amazon for a particular item (e.g., a book), but sure enough I end up buying everything else you can imagine (dog food, toothpaste, and xylitol candy/mints that I have a hard time finding elsewhere, etc.). Of course some of this extra “fluff” in my cart is to get me at the free shipping minimum (since I’m too cheap to pay for Prime, at least for now).

    2. Oh hell yes candy! And pretty much anything else I’m too lazy (or maybe too smart?) to go to an actual store to buy. Amazon is one of the best inventions EVER!!!

    1. My package actually made it today. I did my first workout tonight and now I’m wondering why I was so anxious to get it. But I’m sure it will all be worth it in the end. ????? πŸ™‚

  4. The Amazon “track your shipment” feature is just great for those of us with a touch of OCD, isn’t it?

    I’m far from a glass half full person, but I’ve actually had really good shipping experiences with them. I also hate to shop, and do as much of it online as I can. Usually you can find the lowest prices there, too, and we’ve had Prime for years because we do so much shopping there that it actually saves us money. Plus you can watch lots of movies and TV shows for free. I once *did* receive a package at 11:40 pm, btw. I don’t work for Amazon, I swear!

    When my son was 3 and having his IQ tested, the psychologist asked him what the name of the truck was that delivered the mail, and he answered “UPS”. He got dinged for that, even though I told the psychologist that UPS came to the door several times a week and that he wasn’t tall enough to see the mail truck out of the window yet. That’s probably why he tested as extremely intelligent instead of genius. πŸ˜‰

    1. Booooo to the outdated test! It was definitely not fair. We have so little mail come to the house these days that there’s no need to get it everyday (from the boxes at the end of the street). And since I’m the only one in my household who seems to know how to go get the mail, I wouldn’t be surprised if my kids would miss that question as well. USPS? What’s that?

      And yeah, I see me finally paying for the Prime. I’m pretty sure some of these delivery issues would go away if I was no longer relying on the unreliable free shipping.

  5. What workout did you get I need a new one. Funny I still don’t have prime but our stuff usually gets here when it says so far anyway.

    1. XTFMAX: Find Your Shape – Women’s Complete Home Fitness – 12 DVD Set

      I started it last night (it came yesterday afternoon!) and oh my… I was quick to emulate the “beginner” moves. I think I’m gonna like this program. The trainer, Stephanie Oram, looks like a normal middle-aged woman and the other women working out with her look normal as well. A nice change from the programs that have a bunch of ripped twenty-somethings.

  6. Maybe it’s a Canada thing… The Amazon tracking has been dead on balls accurate. Even though I am OCD, I only follow it for packages intended for me so who knows their track record for Mister’s packages. Ha Ha, Mister’s packages. Good one Kristine.

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