More and more I am realizing I have developed a “reluctant” personality. (I’m pretty sure Gerald figured it out before I did, by the way.) What is a reluctant personality, you ask? Well, I don’t think you’ll find the definition for it in some formal dictionary, I just made it up, but I’ll give an example — Just this very second I am the reluctant grocery shopper. And earlier I was the reluctant exerciser. And later I’ll for sure be the reluctant cook (gotta do something with all those groceries I’ll eventually get out of the house to reluctantly buy today).
At times I can be a reluctant mother. Can’t they just fix their own food and do their own laundry? The reluctant wife? Yeah, sometimes. I’m just so tired or have so many to-dos to do that when I get a free second, I want to literally sit and do nothing. Why, just this morning, I was the reluctant get out of bedder. I was also the reluctant hair and makeup artist. Oh how I wish the automatic hair and makeup machine had been invented already. I mean, how long ago did I see this dream contraption on the Jetson’s intro? The female characters on the show didn’t have to lift a finger to be ready for the day, they had some automated machine thing that did it all for them.
My gusto for cleaning toilets is also no longer because I have also become the… you guessed it… reluctant house cleaner. (We do have a cleaning service but I have to use the term “cleaning” very loosely here.) The reluctant friend — I believe friends have also noticed my reluctance when they ask me to do pretty much anything. And I am rarely the asker, I’m mainly the askee.
Oh where did my life gusto/energy go? Maybe it is disappearing right along with my youth. Hey… maybe this is my midlife crisis. Hmm… what kind of havoc can I reek for my midlife crisis? What’s typical? I guess a man maybe buys a sports car and/or starts dyeing his hair to hide the grey. I could care less about a sports car and I already do my hair. In fact, I have no idea my actual hair color. Great, now I think I have to add reluctant midlife crisis haver to my reluctances.
But anyhoo, not really sure where I’m heading here with this little self discovery. But recognizing a problem is the first step for fixing it, right? So I’ve recognized it. Good for me. Now if I just wasn’t so reluctant to figure out Step 2.