The joys of boys

boy

I didn’t have brothers growing up so I never had any experience with adolescent boy high jinx. So excuse me while I try to figure out the alien type behavior of the two boys God has blessed me with.

A big mystery for me is their clothes. My boys will ride their bikes somewhere (Good for them! They’re getting great exercise and they’re out and about and not holed up in the house being bored.) and if there’s a mud puddle out there, believe me, the back of their shirts will find it. They’ll come home and the front will look okay but then I’ll get a load of the back. Oh man! I especially like how my youngest has managed to get mud on his solid white shirt every time he wears it. Yes, yes, who in their right mind would buy a white shirt for a ten year old boy?!? He gets it muddy every time and I end up bleaching it every time. The bleach has worked great at removing the stains, but the material is starting to break down because of the over-bleaching. Now there is a little hole starting in the shirt. (sigh)

The way my boys are with food also boggles my mind. The other morning, I found a half full/empty bag of (once) frozen meatballs on the kitchen counter. They had been out all night. My oldest and his friend had opted for a late night snack after Gerald and I had gone to bed. I don’t mind if they want to fix themselves something to eat. But for the love of all that’s decent, please remember to put the food back in the fridge/freezer. Please remember to close the chip bag up tight when you’re done. Please wipe up the mess of spilled milk you left on the counter. Gee, did you get any of that cereal in the bowl? Pretty sure you poured it all on the counter and/or floor. If there’s one thing I can’t stand (okay, actually there are A LOT of things I can’t stand, but whatever), it’s wasted food.

There are other mysteries such as the forever clogged toilet, missing what-nots (what-nots can be anything, like shoes, chargers, ipods, etc.). I especially like it when one of my sons comes and asks me where such-and-such is. And the tone used is almost accusatory, like it just had to be Mom who moved my such-and-such or my this-and-that. Umm… no, I haven’t seen your such-and-such or your this-and-that, thank you.

But when I think I can’t take another minute of the insanity, I realize that hey, it could be worse. I could have two GIRLS. Why just today Gerald and I were at the mall and seeing the way some young girls were dressed (read: scantily clad), I turned to Gerald and said, “I’m so glad we don’t have girls.” Hoochy-attire fear aside, I know I’d be spending sooo much more money if I had girls. When my oldest hit junior high, he became much more aware of fashion/style and some of his demands for the latest brands and clothes are ridiculous, at least to Gerald and me, but I can only imagine if I were up against a junior high female. Oh, the horror!

So the moral of the story is… If you’re a regular Crankoutloud reader, you already know that most of my posts have no moral, it’s usually just my typical rambling. I believe it comes down to this though — Parenting is tough no matter the child’s sex, and each child presents his/her own set of challenges.

Please do share any mysterious ways of your own kiddos or other kids you know by leaving a comment.

–kd

P.S. An update on Gerald and his skitters — He is doing well. And this week’s chicken dish appears to be safe eating. See? Nothing suspicious to see here.

21 thoughts on “The joys of boys”

  1. Just be glad he doesn’t have a 38 inch inseam. I can only get Tyler jeans at Buckle…nothing cheap at that store. 🙂

  2. Looking back on my own teen-hood I don’t understand the wasted food. That cereal on the counter would have been scooped up and added to the bowl. The milk on the counter would probably have been licked up, because teenage boys are animals. And there would be no need to close the chip bag or put the meatballs back in the freezer because once taken out the bags would be empty. It’s a lucky thing I didn’t care about designer clothes because my parents must have spent a horrendous amount for food feeding me and my friends. Oh, and my friends’ parents fed us as well. At least we shared the burden.

    I’ll just add these to the list of reasons my wife and I only have four-legged children.

    1. I dunno. I wonder if it’s because my boys have always wanted for nothing. Back in my day… we ate Spam surprise for dinner. And we liked it damnit. I’m just making up the Spam dish but we definitely didn’t have what my kids have access to today.

  3. I’ve got one of each. The girl is now in college and the boy is graduating 6th grade tomorrow. I am finding my son to be much more challenging than my daughter ever was. Of course, she never was a “teenager” (and at 20 now, I think I’ve safely dodged that bullet). My son’s energy levels alone leave me exhausted by the end of the day.

    1. My oldest (13) just told me yesterday that he’s not a kid. Ummm okay. I’m not sure what that makes him exactly but okay. So I guess he’s skipping the teenage years as well. Only four more years until college time for us. Holy mother of… 🙂

  4. I too grew up without brothers and the one male cousin I have lived several states away. So I don’t know what IS and what IS NOT normal male behavior. Thank God for the internet. And for friends who have raised or are raising boys. My son is only seven so we still have a lot of new experiences in front of us, but for sure I can relate to the dirty clothes and even the food situation somewhat. There are some days when I feel like no matter how much I feed him he’ll never be full. I dread the teen years. We’ll probably have to take out a second mortgage on the house to pay for grocery bills. Having said all that, he’s still my greatest joy in life and I love learning the ways the male mind works. 🙂

    1. I look to Gerald to explain a lot of the ‘boy’ behavior. He grew up with two brothers so he’s pretty knowledgeable about such things. But the boys leave him stumped quite often though. I suppose it really does come down to personality more than the gender. But of course when the boys want to talk about their body parts and all that, that’s all Gerald.

  5. One of each. My teen daughter is a challenge in ways that feel very familiar. My son seems just like a boy should be according to your account. I am truthfully not ready for either.

    1. Gerald always says our oldest is just like me and so he (Gerald) expects me to know how to handle any difficult behavior. Uh hello?? I don’t know how to handle me so there goes that idea.

    1. Almost every year, the start of summer is announced by ants making a trek through my kitchen. I swear, I’m the only one who cares. I try like mad to keep crumbs off the table and counter tops. It’s pretty much a losing battle though.

  6. I’m with you on all counts. Dirt just finds them. How can a 15 year old get a hole in his (school uniform) pants? It’s not like they’re doing hard labor, or actually ANY labor? And what’s with the 12 year old’s aversion to showers? Blech.

    1. Yeah, come to think of it, my 10 (about to be 11) year old will go for days without a shower. I’m like, it’s been 3 days! He’s not phased. 🙂

  7. I read countless blog posts like this, and the message I get from every single one is ‘kids are far too much like hard work’.
    In fact, I was walking around town with Ant this morning and saw so many kids behaving in an annoying manner that I’ve decided to write a post with helpful tips on how to modify children’s behaviour. It will be revolutionary, and un-marred by the fact I have zero experience with children.

    You heard it hear first 😉

    1. What? My kids are angels! Have I been giving another impression? 😉 I look forward to reading it, Jamie!

  8. I’ve got one of each and my daughter has been much more difficult through every stage. My son had a major gross motor delay, and would pass out several times a day until he turned 5. Whenever he got hurt or frightened (and everything scared him) he would cry so hard that he couldn’t take a breath–the oxygen would cut off, he’d turn blue, his eyes would roll back, he’d lose consciousness and then would have a seizure and lose control of his bladder. And my daughter was still harder! I agree with you that it comes down to temperament and personality. Oh, and they’re both slobs and food wasters, but the awesome thing is that they’ve always been–and still are, even as teenagers–best friends.

    1. Wow, I should quit my whining. It’s always amazing when you discover parents who have these enormous challenges but they take it in stride. I guess you learn to live with what you’re dealt. Kudos, Margot. You’re obviously a good mom. 🙂

    1. I was so sure our second would be a girl. When the ultrasound tech announced we were having (another) boy, I was certain she had misspoke. But I’m very thankful for my two boys. 🙂

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