Tag Archives: grocery shopping

So many questions!

Gerald said something to me this morning, and I may have overreacted, maybe a tad. It’s just that nothing gets my hormonal crazies stirred up better than the following questions from my family —

–Did you do a load of whites? <–This was this morning’s question and it was not met with a pleasant response. Let’s see, Gerald, sure, I squeezed in washing and drying your precious tighty-whities* between church, grocery store, and cooking up some meals for the week, finally calling it a night (and totally exhausted) by around 10pm. No, I did not do a load of whites. I did a bunch of laundry loads on Saturday, but since no one seems to appreciate the sweat and tears I put into running this household, I guess it wasn’t noticed!

–Are you going to get ready for bed? <–Do I look like I’m getting ready for bed? I just sat down after being in the kitchen for hours, and I just want to vegetate for a while. That, and it takes me forever and a day to get ready for bed so I tend to put it off as long as possible. I’ve done this bedtime procrastination long before Gerald, but now my dawdling is justified. I really am beat after so much run-around and I just want to relax for a bit.

–Are you going to the grocery store? <–I can’t stand grocery shopping. It’s one of those things where it’s not so bad once I’m there and I’m doing it, but just like how I put off my bedtime routine, I stall my grocery trip for as long as possible. But boy how it pisses me off when I’m asked. I’ve only been trying to compile my list for hours now wanting fellow house dweller input but they’re too busy, you know, watching TV or something. So yes, I’ll eventually get to the store, but nobody better say a thing about anything I may have forgotten or didn’t get just right. If you have such a problem then go to the damn store yourself!

–Are you going to do your workout? <–Really? I’m pretty sure this question is up there with a man’s hesitant response to the “Does this dress make me look fat?” question. Translation in a woman’s head: I’m fat. Why the need to ask if I’m going to do my workout? Are you saying I look like I need to workout, Gerald? Have I put on a little extra poundage? Well, maybe I have, but I’m already feeling pretty lousy about it, and I don’t need all the interrogation! And I’m not sure when I’m going to find the time to do my workout, what, with all the laundry and grocery shopping.

I realize Gerald’s questions are most likely innocent inquiries; he wants an idea of happenings around the house and of my schedule so he is able to plan accordingly. But you would think after all these years of marriage, he would have caught on to the woman’s psyche by now. I suppose woman will forever be a mystery to the male species.

Runner-up questions (Pretty sure there’s no need for description):
–Where is my insert whatever object you can think of here?
–Do you have money?

*Okay, Gerald doesn’t really wear tighty-whities. The use of the term “tighty-whities” in this post is for demonstration purposes only.


What his baby wants, his baby gets

Gerald and I have been married a number of years now. Oh yeah, total bliss, you know it’s true. I must say that Gerald does try his best to keep his baby happy. No matter how asinine the request may seem to him, Gerald has learned to just do it anyway, no questions asked. This doesn’t mean we haven’t run into some “interesting” results along the way though.

Take for instance, The Shopping List. You just can’t get more complicated than a shopping list drafted by yours truly. You take my food intolerances, Gerald’s food preferences/dislikes, plus the boys’ favorite items, and you know it’s gonna be one crazy time-consuming trip to the grocery store. But Gerald will go for me anyway. It can be too hot, too muggy, too cold, too whatever for me, and my honey will go. Yes, I’m the one who regularly trudges to the store, but Gerald willingly goes for me when begged asked.

Gerald blames the awful handwriting, but I believe it’s more that he doesn’t pay attention to the minute detail of my typical meal planning / food preparation. Specific brands and quantity are important, Gerald.

He’s come home with corn tortilla chips instead of corn tortillas. The fix? We turned the tacos into nachos. One time Gerald got me the protein bars with the high sugar alcohol levels. Sugar alcohols and my system is just a disaster waiting to happen, people! The fix? I gave them to a co-worker. I think she was okay. I didn’t stick around to find out though.

At Thanksgiving a few years ago, Gerald was tasked with a run to the store for just two items so no list was necessary, right? Wrong. You can’t expect a man to capture the crucial details that it’s Breyer’s with a ‘B’ ice cream. Do NOT get the Dreyer’s with a ‘D’. I can only tolerate the Breyer’s, with a ‘B’. So what do you think the man comes home with? Yep, the ‘D’ ice cream. Tis okay, guess who had to make another trip to Kroger?

That same day, I tasked Gerald with buying two fall-ish floral arrangements. The man comes home with two fall-ish plants. Plants? What am I going to do with plants? Oh, that’s right, kill them. I didn’t want plants, Gerald! Solution? We kept them around long enough for the T-Day dinner, but the plants were promptly sent home with my mother-in-law. They would at least have a fighting chance! Gerald claims he didn’t really know the difference between a bouquet and a plant.

The moral of the story? What Gerald’s baby wants, Gerald’s baby gets. But not always.


Kroger vs. Kroger

kroger          Vs.          kroger

An ongoing battle of sorts at our house is which of the two Kroger stores close to us is the better grocery store. One would think that a Kroger is a Kroger is a Kroger, but one would be wrong. The Kroger west of our house (considered my Kroger) has items that the Kroger east of our house (what we call Gerald’s Kroger) does not carry, and vice versa. Not only are their product offerings different, but both stores are also laid out differently. For example, the produce section is immediately on your right if you walk into the “west” Kroger and the “east” store has their produce on the left.

So if you frequent one store more often than the other, you get used to the way that store is set up. I do most of the grocery shopping because who else is gonna do it?? of course you know I live to serve my family. But anyway, when I’m making out a grocery list, I attempt to keep it in the same order as if you are walking the store. For example, since my Kroger has the specialty section at the front of the store, I’ll put my gluten free waffles at the beginning of the list and write the rest of my list by mentally going up and down each aisle. If, for whatever reason, Gerald ends up being sentenced the one sent to do the weekly Kroger trip, he has learned he’s probably better off going to my Kroger. If he does go to his Kroger using my list, he’s there for what feels like an eternity (because he ends up having to go all over the store).

Okay, Gerald, let’s take the gloves off and we’ll do a true side by side comparison (all according to me, of course) of the two Krogers and see which one fairs best. And may my the best Kroger win!

My Kroger (west of us) —
1) The left turn into my Kroger parking lot isn’t as daunting as the left turn into Gerald’s Kroger. Although I still try to avoid my Kroger on certain days at certain times.
2) Gluten free and specialty item selections are more plentiful and easier to locate.
3) The layout is better (i.e., it’s what I’m used to).
4) Has personalized service at the deli counter. It may take forever and a day to get your deli cold cuts, Gerald, but by golly you’ll get them as ordered (weight, slice thickness, etc.).

Gerald’s Kroger (east of us) —
1) Admittedly easier to utilize if you need to grab something after work as it is on the direct path to home.
2) Has the big bag of dog food (while, for whatever reason, my Kroger only carries the small sized bag).
3) (sometimes!) Has the (gluten free) Redbridge beer. I have never seen the Redbridge at my Kroger which is kind of strange considering all the other GF choices.
4) Has the self-serve deli order option, where you can place your order and then go do the rest of your shopping and come back and pick up your order. Although when you’ve tried this option, Gerald, they either: a) didn’t see it or didn’t have it ready; or b) sliced it all wrong (which is easy to do because you are so damn picky).

Okay, clearly my Kroger wins. Why? Because my #3 (I’m used to the layout at my Kroger) is the heaviest scoring factor, that’s why. Oh, I didn’t mention the scoring weight for each category? What? Does the scoring seem unfair, Gerald? Well, maybe you should go back and read The double standard.