So many questions!

Gerald said something to me this morning, and I may have overreacted, maybe a tad. It’s just that nothing gets my hormonal crazies stirred up better than the following questions from my family —

–Did you do a load of whites? <–This was this morning’s question and it was not met with a pleasant response. Let’s see, Gerald, sure, I squeezed in washing and drying your precious tighty-whities* between church, grocery store, and cooking up some meals for the week, finally calling it a night (and totally exhausted) by around 10pm. No, I did not do a load of whites. I did a bunch of laundry loads on Saturday, but since no one seems to appreciate the sweat and tears I put into running this household, I guess it wasn’t noticed!

–Are you going to get ready for bed? <–Do I look like I’m getting ready for bed? I just sat down after being in the kitchen for hours, and I just want to vegetate for a while. That, and it takes me forever and a day to get ready for bed so I tend to put it off as long as possible. I’ve done this bedtime procrastination long before Gerald, but now my dawdling is justified. I really am beat after so much run-around and I just want to relax for a bit.

–Are you going to the grocery store? <–I can’t stand grocery shopping. It’s one of those things where it’s not so bad once I’m there and I’m doing it, but just like how I put off my bedtime routine, I stall my grocery trip for as long as possible. But boy how it pisses me off when I’m asked. I’ve only been trying to compile my list for hours now wanting fellow house dweller input but they’re too busy, you know, watching TV or something. So yes, I’ll eventually get to the store, but nobody better say a thing about anything I may have forgotten or didn’t get just right. If you have such a problem then go to the damn store yourself!

–Are you going to do your workout? <–Really? I’m pretty sure this question is up there with a man’s hesitant response to the “Does this dress make me look fat?” question. Translation in a woman’s head: I’m fat. Why the need to ask if I’m going to do my workout? Are you saying I look like I need to workout, Gerald? Have I put on a little extra poundage? Well, maybe I have, but I’m already feeling pretty lousy about it, and I don’t need all the interrogation! And I’m not sure when I’m going to find the time to do my workout, what, with all the laundry and grocery shopping.

I realize Gerald’s questions are most likely innocent inquiries; he wants an idea of happenings around the house and of my schedule so he is able to plan accordingly. But you would think after all these years of marriage, he would have caught on to the woman’s psyche by now. I suppose woman will forever be a mystery to the male species.

Runner-up questions (Pretty sure there’s no need for description):
–Where is my insert whatever object you can think of here?
–Do you have money?

*Okay, Gerald doesn’t really wear tighty-whities. The use of the term “tighty-whities” in this post is for demonstration purposes only.


28 thoughts on “So many questions!”

    1. The money spent, the time spent, just knowing I didn’t get everything needed or I didn’t get the right thing. What’s not to love about going to the grocery store??

  1. For Gerald’s benefit I’ll paraphrase the computer at the end of the movie Wargames: “The only winning move is not to ask.”

    But then I’m the one who’s usually being asked the questions in our household. It’s usually “What should we do for supper?” It’s a tough question but if I didn’t answer it we might not eat.

    1. Ha! Funny! But then I’d probably wonder why no one asks me questions anymore. And I’d draw it down to one conclusion: I’m fat.

  2. Karen,
    I’m with you on all these especially, “Are you going to the grocery store?” I hate when I have a list a mile long and need to add more items, thus spending more time in those horrible big-box supermarkets. For whatever its worth, our local grocery store delivers. I resisted at first, then tried it. Now I can’t live without it.

    1. Did you see those little automated ‘driving’ coolers that will become a reality in the near future? I can’t remember the name and where they were prototyping but it’s a cooler thing programmed to roll to your house and you use a code to unlock it and get your stuff out. Oh yeah, I’ll be all over that when it comes out. The only bad thing is the weight limit. Of course I forget that (the actual number) too. But I know my family’s groceries would go well beyond the limit. Hmmm… maybe grocery stores should jump on that driverless tram thing. 🙂

  3. You’d think that sex rolls would have changed a bit more by now, wouldn’t you? My husband is willing to do the grocery shopping, but he’s not that good at it. He can only get the specific items on the list, and even then he usually doesn’t manage to get everything. I actually like to go grocery shopping. It’s one of the few places I can spend money without second guessing myself as to whether we really whatever I’m buying or not.

    I’m with you though—I hate all those questions.

    1. Hey Margot! I was thinking about you when searching for a picture to include with this post. I ALMOST selected a David Beckham in his tighty-whities but I wussed out and went with the safer choice. I just KNEW I should’ve went with the other. David Beckham may be no “boob” but I’m betting he would’ve drawn more traffic to my site! 🙂 And as mentioned, once I’m actually AT the grocery store, it’s not so bad. And then when I’m asked Why did you get blah?!? I can answer Because I’m the one who went so I picked everything *I* wanted! Ha!

  4. I read this with great interest and a pen and piece of paper nearby. It’s always useful to take note of the things likely to irritate my wife. At the moment, I have to go by little tell-tale signs, like how red her face looks and how much arm-waving she’s doing.

    1. I’m sure your wife will appreciate you taking notes. And I’m wondering if she throws in the occasional hand gesture as well? 🙂

  5. Just reading this made me feel irritated (not your fault; just meaning, I could relate to the annoying part of daily living with other people). You may want to include a disclaimer at the beginning, “If you are feeling hormonal or cranky, please come back on a different day to read this”. Lately I’m getting bombarded with Minecraft questions from my 7yo (as if I have an answer) and sometimes it annoys the living shit out of me.

    1. Sometimes my youngest will go on and on about nothing. It’s usually used as an avoidance tactic (bed, homework), but it drives me almost-stab-myself-in-the-neck crazy.

  6. I think I might be the husband in my house!
    Of course, I still find plenty of ridiculous things coming out of my husband’s mouth. And whenever I think I’m being annoying, he always pretends it’s adorable. Which is suppose why I must tolerate him, apart from the fact that he does the laundry and the dishes, etc. In fact, he’ll even do the groceries but the list I have to make must be SO DETAILED and it’s never enough detail, I always end up fielding dozens of texts with follow up questions, and then pictures of products or produce, and it takes him so long that it never ends up being worth it!

    1. If I know I’m making the grocery list for Gerald, I try to include as many details as possible, even including product location, package color, etc. Of course hindsight is 20/20 and I’ll realize I should’ve included even more hints! 🙂

    1. I’m rarely asked that question. Pretty sure there’s no need to ask. And then yeah, Gerald knows it’s best not to, just makes things worse.

  7. It isn’t the questions that get to me so much as the statements. Like, “There’s no peanut butter.” Is there not? Well, let’s see…only one of us eats peanut butter and would know that the jar is empty. That person failed to put it on the grocery list that sits on the counter in the kitchen (in the same place it has been for years). That person is perfectly capable of finding his way to any of the four grocery stores that are within a five mile radius of our home. Leading to my inevitable response of, “That sucks.”

    1. I think you get so good at keeping things stocked, the family takes it for granted and is all shocked when things run out. Guess that could be a separate post titled “So many statements!” 🙂

  8. And really, “Are you doing a load of whites?” when in relation to tidy-whities (let’s bring that term back shall we? We can hashtag it all over Twitter. Get it trending), is even more annoying since who cares what load the gitch gets thrown into. If the #tidywhites turn pink, does anyone really care?
    This was absolutely hilarious! Made my day! Thank you! (And for the record, I wouldn’t have balked at the Davic Beckham pic in his #tidywhities.)

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