Okay, I already sleep with the covers clean up to my neck every night, due to watching the movie Salem’s Lot when I was about 11. My friend and I were left to our own devices one afternoon and we thought we’d watch a forbidden Restricted movie. To this day, I wish I had never watched that movie. There’s this one part, and the only part of the movie I can even remember, where one of the vampires was scratching at a bedroom window. I can’t recall anything before or after that scene, but ever since then I sleep with the covers up to my neck. Why, you ask? To protect my neck from biting vampires, of course. Gerald finds my neck coverage funny and claims I am a glutton for punishment. Go look up the Urban Dictionary definition of “dutch oven” if you’re curious what I mean.
But anyway, you throw my family’s latest obsession of watching back-to-back episodes of Forensic Files into the mix, and well, it’s just all kinds of wrong.
First, if you’ve ever watched Forensic Files, you know the voice-over guy totally sucks you in at the beginning of the show AND before each commercial break. You’ve gotta come back if you want to find out who killed Jane (and with what blunt object or poison or gun or knife or whatever)! Don’t miss a second! So NOT watching the show once started is simply not an option.
Stories of serial killers and rapists abound. Many of the stories reveal the perpetrator was a complete stranger. And after watching episode after episode of this show, you REALLY start losing faith in humanity. I started getting (even more) paranoid about the house being locked up tight and the house alarm always being set at night. Listening for strange noises outside the window (I don’t want there to be some peeping Tom out there! Forensic Files has included a story on a peeping Tom turned killer, wouldn’t cha know.).
So between Gerald’s dutch ovens, protecting my neck from vampires, and now having to sleep with one eye open, it’s no wonder I get any sleep at all these days.