Oh no, I’m not going to list things that would be an embarrassment to me, this is a “to do” list of all the embarrassing things I want to accomplishment for the sole benefit of my boys!
**All items listed must be done in front of, or at least within earshot, of my children’s friends**
- Speak long and loud about the importance of clean underwear.
- Give a “stranger danger” pop quiz while in transit.
- Turn up the country music and sing like there’s no tomorrow. <–car, house, in public, it doesn’t matter where
- Loudly encourage them not to eat so much, reminding them about the explosive diarrhea they had the last time they ate like that.
- Dress in 80’s style sweatpants, with banana clip hairdo. <–Oh how I miss banana clips! Not too long ago, a friend and I actually talked about trying to push for a banana clip comeback.
- Talk as if I know who all the latest kid-favorite celebrities are. Make up names and act shocked that they’ve never heard of Bananarama. <–Oh wait, that really was an 80’s band. I like bananas. Banana clip, Bananarama… I am kind of hungry.
- Kiss their dad and smack his ass, laughing, “Go grab me a beer, sugar lips!”
- Stand in front of the TV so nobody can see it. <–we still have one of the “old fashioned” big screens that is heavy and sits on the floor! How embarrassing! Maybe “Have a heavy big screen tv” should be it’s own embarrassing bucket list item.
- Go in their room, not saying anything, and sit on the bed to hear the latest kid gossip (and act interested). <–I’ve done this sort of thing before, it’s funny how they all stop talking at once and look at you in uncomfortable silence. Mission accomplished. Yes!!
- Address them by their special pet name / nickname. <–I do this strictly out of habit; that’s just the name I use all the time, I don’t even think about it. But the uncomfortable squirm when I do it in front of their friends? Priceless!
So I guess it’s not a 100% ‘bucket’ bucket list as I’ve already done some of these (definitely 1, sort of 2, definitely 10), but I suppose having the list will ensure I remember to do everything well into the future.