Only in my dreams

Source: Wikipedia

I started writing this post about 4:30 Monday morning. Well, in my bed and in my head. (Hey, that rhymes!)

Oh it was a brilliant chain of events, just ask Gerald.

! That was the doorbell! I just heard the doorbell! A quick look at the clock: 4:53. Considering our bedroom clock is about 20 minutes fast, it was probably more like 4:30. But being in such a state of sleepiness, the time, real or fake clock time, just wasn’t registering. My oldest has these crazy cross-country practice hours and we’ve already experienced his ride ringing the doorbell at an ungodly hour while my whole family, including my son, has been sleeping soundly. So when I heard the doorbell ring this morning at about 4:30, I, oh I mean I made Gerald jump into full on GO mode.

Turn off the house alarm! Grab some pants! What time was he supposed to be up this morning?? And, weird, why wasn’t the dog in her usual “doorbell” attack mode? She was showing zero interest in our, oh I mean Gerald’s hop-to-it run to the door and get the boy up party.

Gerald after coming back in our bedroom: The doorbell didn’t go off, there’s no one at the front door.

Me: Oh, I must have been dreaming, sorry. ZZZzzzzz….

I’m just kidding, my heart was pump’n after the false alarm. And boy was Gerald annoyed. So sue me. The thing is, this isn’t the first time, and I’m positive it won’t be the last, where I cost Gerald sleep.

I have (and will continue to)…

–Woken Gerald up accusing him of bringing a clump of mud and grass into our bed.
–Woken Gerald up with a gasp because I thought there was an intruder standing over our bed.
–Made Gerald go running out of our room and into the living room, unarmed, thinking OUR house alarm was going off when it was really our neighbor’s (hers is REALLY loud and I thought it was our house alarm).
–Woken Gerald up by shaking him awake, having to ask some urgent question that I guess came up in my dream.

There have been other similar occurrences but they all share the same MO.  We’ll both realize I was just dreaming (again), and (hopefully) we both go back to sleep. It sucks when it’s almost time to get up anyway. You know, when you realize you only have maybe 10 to 30 minutes or so. Then you think, I may as well get up, but then you don’t, and then you end up hitting the snooze at least three times, and then you’re running late even though you could’ve actually run early. Yeah, that.

Sweet dreams, everyone!


20 thoughts on “Only in my dreams”

  1. Ain’t sleep disorders the best? My wife bought a large picture she was planning to hang over the bed but changed her mind after the night I woke her up because I was trying to get a computer disk out of the safe in the wall.

    The funny thing is there’s no safe in the wall.

    She’s found me standing on the edge of the bed and in the kitchen. It’s a lucky thing I’ve never wandered outside. Oh yeah, and I’ve had the dream that the alarm went off and the one about an intruder standing over the bed.

    Yeah, pleasant dreams indeed.

    1. Maybe we both should try an actual dreamcatcher. Couldn’t hurt. 🙂 I don’t think I’ve ever “sleep traveled.” Heaven help everyone if I start doing that.

  2. A doorbell ring at 4.30 in the morning is seriously uncool! I guess you could go and have a look at the supermoon or something.

    I must admit, waking up with only 20 minutes left before the alarm is due to go off is one of the worse feelings in the world. (Waking up with only ten minutes to go is worse, though.)

    1. An IMAGINED doorbell ring at 4:30 in the morning is even worse. Ugh! I keep forgetting there was/is some super hero moon thing going on right now! 🙂

    1. It could/does happen. 🙂 And that’s a pretty sweet dream right there. Well until you wake up and realize you missed work. And then that wouldn’t be so bad if work didn’t equate to paycheck, paycheck = being able to live. It’s all such a vicious cycle.

  3. I love that one of your tags is ‘false alarms’ lol!
    And I love that I’m not the only one with this coocoo disorder or whatever it is. I wake at night swearing up and down that I heard a knock at the door. The dogs aren’t barking. My husband is not moving. But I’m sure someone is outside. I peak through the curtains. Nope. Nobody. I think we have extraordinary imaginations that go into overdrive when they aren’t kept in check during daylight hours…yeah let’s go with that.

  4. You sound like a very active sleeper, Karen! I hate that dilemma of being only an hour or so from normal getting-up time. You know you should rise but end up falling into the deepest, most wonderful sleep you’ve ever had. Then you end up late… when you started out early. Life isn’t fair.

    1. I know what you mean about falling back into a wonderful sleep. I’ve been tempted to set the clock alarm to regular weekday wake-up time for a Saturday just so I can turn the alarm off and fall back into that kind of sleep. SOMEBODY won’t let me do it. Huh hum. Of course, you just know I’d forget it was Saturday and get up and start getting ready anyway. Hmm… I guess somebody may be right.

  5. I talk in my sleep and I am usually complaining to Mister about something. He loves that. He loves it most when it is 4.30am so I try and stick to that timetable. Both our kids walk and talk in their sleep too. We are a charming bunch.

  6. That is curiously strange that my clock is also twenty minutes fast. It started as five, but my clock won’t reset, and every time I try to reset it, it just gets more ahead.

    1. I think ours started off at 10 minutes fast but yes, somehow it’s 20 now. It may have happened while I was beating the hell out of the (beeping) clock and I “accidentally” pushed some buttons.

  7. Oh geez Karen. Why must we be so unnervingly similar? I do all those same things. Lately I keep dreaming that the alarm has gone off ,so I turn it off and then I’m confused why it’s only 4AM. I talk in my sleep and I’ve even screamed in my sleep and woken up the entire house. I must be a joy to live with.

    1. Do they still have that wife swap show (where the moms switch households, in a totally platonic way I might add)? It would be an interesting experiment to see if our families even noticed. Ha. 🙂

      I kept waking up multiple times this morning as well, thinking I had already hit the snooze button a couple times but none of that happened.

  8. My husband’s alarm is set to static (no radio station, just static). Sometimes he forgets to shut it off in the morning after hitting snooze. When he does, I yell to him (when he’s downstairs in the kitchen and I’m still in bed), to come turn off his gerdammed clock, because if I have to get up, walk around the bed and shut it off, I might as well just get up. Needless to say, I find this very annoying. More than a couple of times I got so ticked off I screamed at the top of my lungs, “Would you shut that f*cking alarm clock off!” And I heard him next to me, still in bed, “It’s only 5:30. The alarm hasn’t even gone off yet.”

    Um. Oops? As you were.

    1. Very true. Gerald would be in for a REAL treat if I suffered from insomnia. See? He just doesn’t know how good he really has it.

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