My embarrassing bucket list

Oh no, I’m not going to list things that would be an embarrassment to me, this is a “to do” list of all the embarrassing things I want to accomplishment for the sole benefit of my boys!

**All items listed must be done in front of, or at least within earshot, of my children’s friends**

  1. Speak long and loud about the importance of clean underwear.
  2. Give a “stranger danger” pop quiz while in transit.
  3. Turn up the country music and sing like there’s no tomorrow.  <–car, house, in public, it doesn’t matter where
  4. Loudly encourage them not to eat so much, reminding them about the explosive diarrhea they had the last time they ate like that.
  5. Dress in 80’s style sweatpants, with banana clip hairdo. <–Oh how I miss banana clips!  Not too long ago, a friend and I actually talked about trying to push for a banana clip comeback.
  6. Talk as if I know who all the latest kid-favorite celebrities are.  Make up names and act shocked that they’ve never heard of Bananarama. <–Oh wait, that really was an 80’s band.  I like bananas.  Banana clip, Bananarama…  I am kind of hungry.
  7. Kiss their dad and smack his ass, laughing, “Go grab me a beer, sugar lips!”
  8. Stand in front of the TV so nobody can see it. <–we still have one of the “old fashioned” big screens that is heavy and sits on the floor!  How embarrassing!  Maybe “Have a heavy big screen tv” should be it’s own embarrassing bucket list item.
  9. Go in their room, not saying anything, and sit on the bed to hear the latest kid gossip (and act interested).  <–I’ve done this sort of thing before, it’s funny how they all stop talking at once and look at you in uncomfortable silence.  Mission accomplished.  Yes!!
  10. Address them by their special pet name / nickname. <–I do this strictly out of habit; that’s just the name I use all the time, I don’t even think about it.  But the uncomfortable squirm when I do it in front of their friends?  Priceless!

So I guess it’s not a 100% ‘bucket’ bucket list as I’ve already done some of these (definitely 1, sort of 2, definitely 10), but I suppose having the list will ensure I remember to do everything well into the future.

–kd

bananaclip
Long live the banana clip!

2 thoughts on “My embarrassing bucket list”

  1. I’m wearing a banana clip tomorrow just for you..and in your honor. If you would like to borrow one come on down. I have one in every color in two sizes. We can do this.

  2. Oh when I tried number 7 tonight the Mr. informed me that I was holding the last one. Probably more effective when there’s a refrigerator is full.

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