Just ask

pregnant woman

I was reading a Ms. Manners column regarding pregnant women, and men giving up their seats to accommodate said pregnant women, and it triggered a memory of when I was carrying my second child.

I believe the year was 2003. Gerald and I worked for the same company. In the same building. On the same floor. In the same department. In the same group. Yeah, I know, Gerald loved it! We rode to work together, ate lunch together, rode home together. Ah, such wonderful memories.

Our manager would have a big group meeting now and again. The conference room was decent sized and all but there simply were not enough chairs to accommodate all of us. It was pretty much first come, first served if you didn’t want to end up standing or sitting on the floor for the entire length of the meeting. I walk in, not early, but not late, and there was my Gerald, kicking back at the table with some of the other guys. I wasted no time. I didn’t say a word. My pregnant self simply walked over to my chair possessing husband and looked at him. The other guys did their typical “Ooooo!” in response, just knowing that Gerald was in big trouble with his super sensitive, hormonal wife. Gerald chuckled and then let me have the chair. Damn straight.

After I read the advice column, I got to thinking the advice I’d give to a mother-to-be faced with a no available seating dilemma. For the most part, I’ve always been a “just come out and ask” kind of person. I’m sure Gerald will argue with my statement because on occasion, I am guilty of expecting him to read my mind. But anyway, we’ll just ignore that for the moment, for this blog post.

I say if a man, or it could be any well-bodied individual, doesn’t automatically pop up to give a pregnant woman his/her seat, the woman should just ask. As I mentioned, Gerald likes to remind me he isn’t a mind reader. And no one wants to make the mistake of thinking a female is pregnant when she’s not. In fact it’s probably best to not say a word about a pending birth unless there is an actual announcement or statement from the parents-to-be themselves. If nothing is ever said, the safest bet is to wait until after the kid has actually arrived.


6 thoughts on “Just ask”

  1. When I was nine months pregnant with baby #2 (so, you know, really big), a male friend asked “when are you due?” I said “what do you mean?” and he turned white.

    I think he has PTSD because of that, so I kind of feel bad.

    Point is, I was never afraid to use my pregnancy for whatever I wanted, although I never had to ask anyone to give up their seat.

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