I’m pretty sure the Bloggess is onto something when she says Texas is trying to kill us. We’ve had flooding out the wazoo here recently. There has been some serious property damage and even some tragic deaths. And yeah, I’m thinking it’s gotta be frogs and/or locusts next. What gives, Texas?
So not only is Texas trying to kill us Texans this week, I almost killed Gerald. No, not on purpose. Every weekend I do the grocery shopping and cook like a fiend, prepping for the upcoming week’s meals. Before starting my list (which is probably the only exception to my list resistance), I’ll ask Gerald what he may have in mind for lunches/dinners for the coming week. I’ll usually provide a few suggestions (and then he usually agrees and if he doesn’t agree I still make what I suggested anyway). We hadn’t had my chicken curry in a while so I suggested the curry and this tasty turkey meatball recipe, courtesy of my (ex) trainer Sagi. The curry recipe is quite involved (well, at least I consider it involved) and so it takes a little effort (read: It’s a pain in the ass).
Even though I’ve made this chicken dish multiple times now, somehow… a little salmonella must have slipped in there. I’m guessing with all my multitasking and the moving about of clean and dirty bowls, dishes, pots/pans, and utensils, I inadvertently ended up cross-contaminating cooked and raw. Gerald and I packed our lunches for the next day and he went ahead and fixed a portion to eat right then. I wasn’t that hungry. Really, I wasn’t hungry at the moment, nothing suspicious to see here. Anyway, Gerald said the chicken was excellent (as usual). But then early the next morning, my honey got hit with a serious case of the skitters. For those who are not ‘in the know’, here’s Urban Dictionary’s top definition of the word “skitters”: The equivalent of pissing shit out of your anus. For the everyday yuppie, it is more commonly known as diarrhea. For those who prefer more spice in their everyday chit-chat, it is known as the Hershey Squirts.
This recent salmonella poisoning really wouldn’t be that bad if it had not been for a similar murder attempt years and years (yes, and years) earlier when Gerald and I were dating. I used to try new recipes all the time and Gerald got to be the guinea pig. Most recipes were from my Taste of Home (TOH) magazines. Most of the TOH recipes use “reasonable” ingredients and aren’t all fancy shmancy gourmet. I guess you could say they’re practical, and thus right up my alley.
One particular evening I decided to make a turkey sausage meatball spaghetti. It was easy enough. And as luck would have it, I had all the ingredients. I had a pound of ground turkey stashed away in my freezer so I would just thaw that out. I always figured ground meat keeps fine frozen for infinity (and beyond), right? I had probably had that meat in there for about a year. I admit I thought the meat smelled a little funny when I was handling it, but I wasn’t that familiar with ground turkey so I figured the funk smell was normal. Gerald arrived right as I was finishing up. I served the spaghetti up on a couple plates and waited for Gerald to take a bite and then he could tell me how much he liked it (like he was required to do and still is). He took a bite and hesitated for a split second. Then he goes in for another bite, stops with fork midway to his mouth and he tells me, “I’m sorry, I just can’t do this.” And then I was all like, “Does it smell a little funny?” And he said, “Yes.” And I said, “I thought it smelled kind of weird, but I thought maybe that’s how it was supposed to smell.” We ordered a pizza.
Gerald later told me he didn’t want to hurt my feelings and so that’s why he went for the second bite. He said he was giving himself a pep-talk of sorts in his head. Come on, you can do this! But, in the end, he just couldn’t. And I’m glad, because I wasn’t trying to kill him, that night or even the other night. Really. Really, Gerald.
So back to the tainted curry chicken. I was pretty frustrated about the whole thing. Do you know I individually peeled and sliced carrots and squeezed limes and lovingly hand crushed red pepper flakes with my spice grinder?? I was toying with the idea of eating the chicken to prove to Gerald that it wasn’t my cooking that made him sick. It just had to be something else. But would the chance of getting salmonella poisoning be worth it? The diarrhea, the cramping stomach, the vomiting, the fever, aches and pains. Hmm… maybe not. Meatballs it is.