Both times when Gerald and I were expecting, because believe me, Gerald’s belly grew right along with mine, we were determined to come up with “boy” boy names, no names that a girl had already taken and no names that a girl would ever take. I never wanted there to be any confusion during a class role call or on a resume, or even an online dating website.
Come to find out, this is no easy feat. Many popular girl names were once, at least predominantly, boy names. At one point, I thought Aiden <yes, SATC fans, that Aiden> would do nicely, only to have a friend tell me how one of her friends had just named their baby girl Aiden.
I can think of Ashley, Cameron, Drew, Dana, Madison, Mason, Reese, Sandy, Shannon, Shelby. Girls so rule when it comes to the naming game. And really, you never know when what you think is the manliest of names will become a more female name. You may think Brad or Joe, or Bob or Brian are all safely secured in their masculinity. But watch out, guys! Just when you think it’s safe to venture out, WHAM, a little girl is born with the hippest coolest sounding once owned by the male species name.
Funny how you never see the opposite occur. You never see boys take over girl names. I’ve never heard a parent introduce their newborn, saying something like, “And this is our son, Betsy.” Hey, this is reminding me of the Johnny Cash song, “A Boy Named Sue!” But anyhoo <did you catch that rhyme? I could sooo be a songwriter!>, it’s a fairly interesting phenomenon, no? Could it be because of feminism or because females just wanted a bigger piece of the pie? Or is the pie thing already a description of feminism? <and don’t ask me what/which “pie,” because I’m not so sure myself>
Maybe I shouldn’t dismiss the Johnny Cash song so quickly. When the females of the world have literally taken over every once-male name, maybe boys will resort to trying to snag some girl names in retaliation. Maybe there really will be a boy named Sue or Rose or Heather! Perhaps a Lily or a Violet?
Or maybe the guys will resort to having to make up totally new names. This would be more likely. I’ve seen a few really unique names. Seems it is a fairly common practice for a parent who is or was a teacher. How hard that must be to come up with a name for your child that doesn’t remind you of some pain in the ass student you had in one of your classes.
Some new all boy names… Well, flowers are usually equated to girl names so how about items usually associated to boys? How does that little poem go? Something about puppy dog tails and snails? And some dirt is thrown in there? Or what about barns and tractors? Names of fish, maybe? Okay, that’s a good start for a pool of words to choose from. So if you’re expecting a boy, may I suggest the name “Shark?” Or maybe “Hammer?” Or “Slug?” Nah, that last one sounds to gangsta. I suck at this. I’m thinking just pick whatever name you want, traditional, made up, or trendy. I don’t think it really matters in the grand scheme of things; the girls will take it over eventually. Just remember the important things – It should look good on a class roster, resume, or dating website.