The other day, I was driving behind an SUV that had a license plate that started with BLT. And I thought, well now, how cool is that? A Bacon Lettuce Tomato sandwich! And then I thought why can’t the DMV ever give me a cool license plate? I’ve never had any cool/funny/known acronym/abbreviation letters on my DMV assigned plate. I’ve never even had the letters spell anything at all. I knew a lady who once had FAT on her plate. I don’t think she was too thrilled about it, but at least it was something interesting, at least maybe a conversation starter at a party. “Is that your FAT car in the driveway? You need to move it, it’s blocking me from leaving.” Or how about a simple TNT, DOG, PUS, or hell, I’ll even take ZIT! And EAT, ATE, BRK, SHT, WTF, would all be fine with me! Or it would be nice if I could discover something meaningful or personal with random letters. Like if they gave me GFC, I could make Gluten Free Chick out of it or Gooey French Chocolate. Or CAB could mean Crazy Ass Bitch, or Carb Awareness Buzz, oh, or “cab.” COL could equate to Crank Out Loud, or maybe Cheap Old Lady.
Yes, I know I can spend a little extra money and get my very own personalized plate, thank you, but: a) I’m too cheap; b) they’re only good for one year (Did I mention I’m cheap? I wouldn’t want to pay extra for it to be good for only one year!); and c) most of the good ones are either already taken or they are considered offensive by DMV. Like, probably pretty much anything with the word OFF in it is off the table. And then I’m pretty sure the DMV wouldn’t go for a personalized SOFA KNG plate. Considering how you can pretty much take any combination of letters and numbers and make something objectionable out it, I’m not sure how DMV has anything left at all in their license plate inventory.
But anyway, I look forward to my next set of assigned license plates. Maybe I’ll get lucky and have some ridiculous letter/number combo that will make my vehicle more interesting. I mean, what’s another seven years?
–kd (aka Crank Out Loud or Cheap Old Lady)