I started thinking about my Gerald and his smooth moves. Gerald said he can count his smooth moves on two fingers. I bet I can come up with a few others. Let’s see…
Smooth move #1
Both still singletons and not yet officially dating, Gerald walked me to my car after a night with friends at the pool hall. I was just about to get in my car to leave when he asked if I wanted to stay and talk for a while. Talk about what? Talk about this. And he moved in for a kiss, our first kiss. Yes, Gerald, it was a smooth move. I confirm this every time you bring it up.
Smooth move #2
Picture this. First date. Gerald and I were leaving the movie theater after watching Liar Liar with Jim Carrey–what a God awful movie–and Gerald stopped me and said let’s just get this out of the way. And he kissed me right there in the parking lot on the way to his truck. Smoooth.
Smooth move #3
A third smooth move, a third… Oh, I got it — The underwear toss. Every morning when Gerald is about to get in the shower, he slides his skivvies down and does this foot kick thing that tosses his undies up into his hand. Now if he could just get them from his hand and into the dirty clothes basket. Maybe not really a “smooth” move, but definitely a “cute” move.
Smooth move #3 or #4 (?)
No, Gerald, I wouldn’t call your brutal honesty on our first date a smooth move. Heaven only knows how the topic had come up, but I asked Gerald if he would ever want to have a threesome and he answered affirmatively and claims to this day that there’s not a straight man alive who wouldn’t answer the same, if he was being honest. Umm… maybe I should have titled this post “Unsmooth moves.” <sigh>
Okay, moving on…
Smooth move #4 (or is this still only #3?)
I was handing him the bucket of beer and asked for a light and he said he would let me borrow his lighter if I gave him my phone number… Pretty smooth move… Oh, wait a second, I don’t smoke and I’ve never worked as a waitress; this was Gerald’s brother’s smooth move with a cute waitress. Sorry. Gerald’s brother never did let us forget that move and it was a pretty good move so I guess I got it confused.
Smooth move #4 (?) #5 (?)
Did you want to help me out here, Gerald? No, the naked helicopter is not considered a smooth move. How many times do I have to tell you this?
Okay, well maybe it really is only two (“official”) smooth moves, and perhaps my husband is no Rico Suave, but do I still love Gerald anyway? Absolutely. And I wouldn’t want him any other way. Happy Anniversary, HBOO! I love you!