Eat me

Easter Bunny

You know what I find disturbing? I suppose that’s a loaded question, but I find it very unsettling where, in commercials and advertisements, the food items speak and they’re either threatened to be eaten by the humans they’re talking to or ARE eaten by the humans they’re talking to or they eat or get eaten by their same kind. I mean, I admit I’m no marketing expert, but is this advertising tactic really a good idea?

You’ve got the Chips Ahoy cookies innocently minding their own business while driving (?) down the highway and one of them gets snatched up by a human hand, never to be heard from again. Umm… doesn’t anyone else care about the surviving singing cookie family? Their matriarch was just murdered. Hello? Creepy. And then you’ve got the M&M guys. They’re simply enjoying their human friends’ company but then end up being met with the threat of consumption. Well, yeah, who wouldn’t want to eat a giant hunk of chocolate?? Well, maybe me IF IT WAS ALIVE AND WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH ME. Disturbing. There’s this recent Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal commercial where those tasty squares are engaging in cannibalism right there in the cereal bowl! No square is safe! Strange.

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t want my food having a conversation with me right before I down it. The way my mind works is that I like to follow through with what happens. Like what ever happened to the surviving cookies? Did they meet with a similar fate as their package mate? Did they go in a pool of milk or simply with a harsh crunch? And let’s say the sexy blonde successfully gets the yellow M&M to her place. Then what? What happens, you advertising sickos?? I think I’ve seen the yellow M&M again in subsequent commercials/advertisements so I’d like to assume he has not yet met his demise.

Then you have to wonder just how far this whole food/candy talking thing is gonna go. It’s that time of year where there’s a lot of Easter candy on the store shelves. I can see it now – Oh look at the cute Peeps chick candy! We’ll have it say something witty and then a kid will bite its head clean off. Funny stuff. Hey, let’s add some red dye squirting out of the beheaded Peeps body too! Bet that commercial would never be forgotten. Let’s just hope the marketing peeps will stick to never-have-lived foods.

And on a closing note (you’re welcome), I was going to add a Jeffrey Dahmer “cannibal” reference in this post somewhere but then I got way too weirded out after reading all about him on Wikipedia. Now that’s some sick shit.

–kd

6 thoughts on “Eat me”

  1. I seem to remember a really creepy ad when I was a kid where a cooked fish on someone’s plate turned its head and started talking to the guy about to eat it. Now that was creepy shit!
    I don’t eat fish at all, ever. I wonder if that’s why….

    1. I like fish fine but I don’t think I’d ever eat it when it still has the eyeballs. That turns my stomach just thinking about it. And especially if it started talking! Bleh!

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