This past Friday night, I was getting a pizza ready to put in the oven for the boys–I was heating up a gluten free Russo’s pizza in the toaster oven for me. I know! Jealous much??–and I happened to notice the “DON’T FORGET” notes on the back of the Schwan’s pizza’s box. One “don’t forget” stood out in particular. See the pic below.
The picture may be a little hard to see with the glare and all, so here are the bullets:
* For food safety and quality cook until the internal temperature is 160 F before eating
* Do not thaw pizza * Take pizza out of the box and wrapper before cooking <–Ooo… pick me! Pick me!
* Cooking times may vary * Refrigerate or discard any unused portion
* Pizza is done when center cheese is melted and edges are golden brown
Can you guess which one left me a little perplexed?
Do you think the Schwan’s company has had some schmuck complain that nowhere on the box does it say you can’t just throw the whole unopened pizza box, and then in 18 to 21 minutes, voila! Dinner is served!? And I’m thinking it can’t just have been ONE person who tried to pull off this gotta-admit-awesome-and-super-easy-dinner-prep idea. In order for this particular concern to make it as its own bullet on the back of the box, multiple people have had to have tried tossing the whole pizza, wrapper and all, into a preheated oven.
Visions of stupid party movies started floating through my head. Risky Business comes to mind, the scene where Joel attempts to eat a frozen block of dinner. Or maybe the guys in Bachelor Party would try this cooking method, especially the one who tried to slit his wrists with an electric shaver. Probably any of the Porky’s movies could have made such a cooking stunt believable, right? Gerald gave the suggestion of the American Pie movie, the first one. Pretty sure there’s no particular instruction on the back of a pie box to not… ummm…. well, you know. And if you don’t know, I’m not going to explain what happens to the apple pie here on my blog. You’ll have to go watch it. And then report back here pronto to let me know how much you liked the movie, and what you think the back of the pie box’s “DON’T FORGET” notes may read.
I realized after all this deep (?) contemplating over this one little pizza box note, that sometimes it’s probably just best not to go there. Sometimes it’s simply best not to question certain sights seen.