Gerald installed a camera in our living area to keep tabs on things when we’re not home (i.e., so we can spy on the kids). The other day, I got a text message from my oldest saying he was bringing friends over to the house before heading back to the school to watch a basketball game. First let me say my son wasn’t asking if friends could come over, I suppose this message was his way of telling me this little impromptu get together was already a done deal. So I did what any parent with an installed home camera would do in this situation – I clicked on the camera app on my phone to take a gander at what these children were up to in my house.
It looked like an episode of Junior High Kids Gone Wild, and I was not a happy camper. We’ve told my son before there are to be no other kids in the house while there is zero adult presence. He’s such a good listener. But anyway, I could see a couple kids going in and out of the front door, in and out of the fridge, in and out of the pantry (or food closet as Gerald and his Scottish self sometimes calls it), and in and out of my bedroom (!). They were also standing on chairs, going in and out of my sons’ rooms, going down the hall, and who knows what else. They cleared out to head to the game, and we knew we would have quite the nice conversation with our son later that evening.
When we got a chance to ask our son, WTF? he did his typical teenage stammering. It was obvious our oldest child didn’t realize how fast things can get out of hand when you tell a bunch of your friends, “Hey, yeah, everybody come over to my house to hang out!” It’s like they were wild animals (hmm… junior high kids) recently released from captivity (hmm… school) and he obviously had no idea how to keep things in check. The boys even finished off the ice cream sandwiches (oh you sooo know Gerald was probably all thinking, “Oh no they ditten!” in his head) and had gotten into some old Halloween candy (I don’t really care about the candy, but it’s the principle, damnit).
My son acted like he didn’t want to tell us about something “funny” that had happened, but why else would he bring it up unless he wanted to tell us? Oooo, I know, I know! He secretly wanted to let us know (I should sooo be a detective). Apparently, one of the boys had taken a screwdriver out of the kitchen drawer (one of the bazillions of kitchen junk drawers), and stabbed some frozen bananas in the freezer. ? Oh those crazy junior high kids.
But anyway, Gerald told our son to share with his friends that we watched the whole banana stabbing on camera and now no one can come over to the house when we’re not home. This turned out to be a win-win for everyone. Gerald could look like the bad guy, the guy who put the kabosh on the kids’ fun, and our son didn’t have to look like a wet blanket to his friends. My son told us it ended up being the talk of the school, all the kids thought it was so funny. No one is allowed at his house because so and so was stabbing bananas with a screwdriver.
My son told me the big question before the stabbing incident was why I had all those frozen bananas in the freezer. Oh, like I’m the weird one here.